[Dear Diary#2]

Dear Diary,

I'm in a total mess. My life is. I'm officially broke and I think I've never been this broke. I take my meal once in a day and it's during the dusk. It feels like I'm fasting. Seriously. I have this huge hole in my wallet and every time I open it, I keep thinking there will be some loads of money, out of nowhere, popped from it but alas it's all just a wishful thinking. I tried to find several job you know and I have this offer but due to my mistake in my first time doing it, I was denied the opportunity. It was a silly mistake and everyone did mistakes during our first time, didn't we all? I don't understand how black a person's heart can be. It was a silly mistake and only fools would repeat it and I am no fool, just a tad absent-minded. But no no, I've been scratched off from the list. How very devastating.

I called my mom the other day and guess what? She's in a fight with dear daddy again. She didn't tell me that but I knew from her tone of voice. Something wrong happened to her number as I couldn't reached her that night so I rang daddy. So I asked daddy what's up with mum's hand phone? and daddy was like, I don't know, ask her yourself. It was a long silence before mum's voice could be heard. She was drowsy and she didn't wanna talk about her hp's problem. My real intention calling her was to talk about my condition here but I was turned off, I didn't want her to be burdened with my silly tribulation. She sounded like she didn't want to talk so I bid her goodbye. However, mum informed me that she might not be coming to KL this coming week as how she had planned and disclosed to me the other day and she said it's daddy's fault. The problem with my dear daddy is, he is so anti-social. He likes to stay at home reading his newspapers over and over again. I didn't say anything but before I hang out the line, I kinda begged her to come here.

You see Diary, now I have no one to talk to and rely on. What worst is, I think my amnesia is visiting. Yeap she is. Thus, this little mind of mine here starts to decipher and operate like a crazy machine when it's sleep time. I really don't wanna gobble the medicine, it's dangerous you know but I'm having headache every single day. What to do?

I apologize for pouring this out on you dear diary, but I have to. I can't contain it anymore. I need a shoulder to cry and scream and roll on the floor and stare at the blank ceiling and devour tonnes of ice cream and dance like a crazy person and play in the rain and many more. I need a new fresh atmosphere.

Oh and diary, I still am missing Sunshine.

p.s. I think I'm losing my sanity.