Err..I kinda resumed my smoking habit last week. Went down and purchased Pall Mall Menthol 14, my favourite.
It's the time of the month where I feel the urge to inhale that damaging smoke. Yes I pretty much aware how hazardous smoking is.
However, one salient thing you may want to know is that I'm not a heavy smoker. Heavy here means an ardent 24-7 smokers. I dub myself as a professional smoker. I smoke when I'm tensed and when I have a lot of problems. Yes currently I'm having loads of problems and the urge comes at the perfect timing!
My last cigarette was around 5-7 months ago. Yeah that's me, I know when to start and when to cease smoking.
Smoking provides me with insane and absurd satisfaction. You don't wanna know about my ignition to smoking during my childhood and I don't intend to elaborate it here. But one essential thing smoking gives me is the feeling of not being able to think and care about my problems, my aching heart, my bizarre mind and so on. It levitates me to a place where I couldn't care less about everything and I'm not being dramatic here.
It's not a good example and I don't take pride in doing so but this is like my own escapism, the ultimate great escape. So please excuse me.
p.s. I'm not a good example, I know and I realize that.