[Aku Orang Halus 29]

Selama 2 tahun aku 

berjuang dan menunggu

untuk menjadikan

kau selamanya milik aku

Tapi apabila kau 

aku akhirnya miliki

hanya untuk aku lepaskan 

kembali

di mana letak perasan 

dan hati 

sampai sanggup kau

buat aku begini? 

p.s. Di hujung hari, kau juga aku cari nanti.

Painted Dream l3l

We had a little bit of a small talk. 

Your group asked for my advice since I was the mentor and you were the group leader. I could see the passion in your eyes. Those piercing glare penetrated my eyes every time we locked gaze. When that happened, it felt like we were the only persons in the hall and nothing else mattered anymore. I was trying hard not to fidget and mumble, or worst act like a fool. 

If my heart was transparently visible, it could be vividly seen that it was berserk. Pounding wildly and I was pretty certain there's a slight chance that it might burst out. 

Your friend gave me her number as she was the assistant group leader and I was a friend of hers so the thought was, it would be easier and convenient if she contacted me should any thing arouse. I was devastated. 

I wanted to have your number so bad.

Errm do you mind if I have yours instead? 

Besides you're the group leader so that would be more appropriate 

I concocted the lines out of the blue and rather unknowingly. That was so not me. I am a not a go-getter. But when it comes to you, I tend to shove my sanity far away from my mind.  

Yes sure 

The rest of your friends giggled. I hadn't the slightest idea what was so freaking hilarious. Their eyes were all arrowed at us. 

You stood up and came closer to me. I could feel your breath and your smell. Your face was just inches away from mine. Those black and thick eye brows contradicted the complexion of your fair skin. This was rather unfathomable. I had no idea what had gotten into me to make me behaved rather socially bold. 

and your name is?
I asked after saving your number in my mobile phone. 

Your friends were obviously teasing and snickering at us. I was baffled. Did I do something wrong? 

One of your friends remarked, 

you can call my friend here sayang. 

At that moment, I was fumed with awkwardness and had turned reddish completely. I had no freaking idea how to response. 

Oh never mind them, they're being annoying.

you can call me ******

Oh so that's the name, it was an odd name tho, so I thought when I first heard of your name. 

I'd love to call you sayang.

Pardon? 

Eh nothing, so I call you? or maybe text? 

Yeah sure, thanks. 

No, thank you!

I murmured. 

I jumped gleefully and no words could explain how contented and happy I was. I wasn't on cloud nine, I was higher than just sitting on those fluffy clouds where happy people reside. 

p.s. I could remember vividly your expression when they said Sayang.

[Aku Orang Halus 28]

Ini ada sesuatu 
mahu aku beritahu kamu
sayang,


I may not have the most flawless skin in the entire universe,
I may not have the height you prefer,
I can't give you a handphone as a present,
I can't give you any pets as a gift,
I can't make you blushed or smitten every single second,


But,
I have the biggest  and sincerest heart to fill you with lots of love and affection,
compared to your previous exes and scandals.
I just want you to ponder on this,
why did all of them left you haplessly 
and why am I here, chasing you
looking like a fool?


p.s. You don't have to be that intelligent to answer that. It's because I love you dearly whilst they just desired you.

[Aku Orang Halus 27]

So yeah kita sama-sama tahu

dan setuju bila ini berlaku

yang mana kau berat hati untuk layan aku

alasan nya hanya satu

kau sudah ada orang baru

yang akan ganti aku

dan segala perkara yang kita buat bersama

akan kau buat dengan dia

percaya tak cakap aku

bilamana aku fikir begitu?

betul bukan?

jangan kau tipu.

p.s. layan di atas bukan apa yang kamu-kamu fikirkan.

Painted Dream l2l

You were no where to be seen during the workshop. I was one of the facilitators amongst my friends. It was devastating because frankly, I concocted the lines that I'd be going to utter to you and yes I rehearsed the night before, in front of the mirror, in the bathroom.


-_-


It's just not my luck I guess, oh well


and guess what? you were standing outside of the hall with your friends, as scared as mice, because you were late. I opened the door and greeted your friends instead of you just like an admirable gentleman. I did not greet you tho, deliberately of course, I wouldn't want to make it too obvious that I was crushing hard on you. 


You smirked
I was cool, calm and collected


I pretended to pay no heed to you but I constantly aided your friend tho. Hah it's a strategy, devised rather impromptu. You did not notice but I secretively glimpsed at you and was all smitten, bitten by a love bug. When it's time for group work and each of us, the facilitators, was assigned a group as mentors, I rushed to your group which was rather conspicuously written all over my face. 


Silly me,
nampak sangat.


p.s. Were did all the rehearsed lines disappear to?

[Aku Orang Halus 26]

You know when I'm wearing this around my neck, it shows I miss you.

p.s. Happy Mother's Day. It's because of you I have two moms :)

Painted Dream l1l

I was descending the stairs when my eyes caught your glistening skin, those piercing eyes that when the light hits them, they exude charms and the nerdy, naive look that sometimes appears to be a tad mysterious. 

I did not really believe in love at first sight but believe me, I fall in love the very first time I laid my eyes on you. I was hyperventilating, gasping for air yet tried to remain composed. I collected myself to appear cool and calm but god God knew my knees were shaking and I just couldn't take my eyes off of you.

I acted fool tho, in attempt to catch your eyes and in the hope that you noticed my awkward being. I talked so loud, laughed insanely trying to gain your attention. You noticed tho but I had no idea who were you looking at.

That is basically how I started harboring feeling and affection towards you Sayang.

p.s. and the story begins.

[Aku Orang Halus 25]

Sayang,

kau tidak tahu,

betapa hancur hati aku,

bila ucapan "I love you",

hanya di balas dengan "tq"

Mengapa kau perlu begitu,

kononnya tak mahu aku rindu,

Tidak pula kau fikir masa awal-awal dulu

bila kau pelan-pelan buat aku

jatuh cinta sama kamu,

Susah betul kamu mahu percaya

akan betapa sayang dan cinta

aku sama kamu

p.s. Aku rindu masa dahulu.